Function or fashion? Hard call on shoes

Are Shoes Function or Fashion?

Recently, I read an article suggesting a woman should build her outfit by starting with her shoes, claiming it’s a way to fully utilize fabulous footwear. I scoffed. Getting dressed is hard enough, figuring out what clothes fit that day and where I left my pants lying around the house. For me, shoes are the…

Who Knew Lipstick Could be the Gloss on My Mood

Who Knew Lipstick Could be the Gloss on My Mood

It’s not uncommon for me to have my eyeliner lightly smeared down my face or my hair sticking up in funny directions, untamed despite my ponytail. Yeah. I’ve gotten accustomed to ignoring how I look. While I can be a bit ignorant, it isn’t the blissful sort. It’s my own discomfort with my appearance, be…

Am I addicted to shopping?

I Have an Online Shopping Problem

I think I may have a problem. Of the shopping variety. Specifically, I have an online shopping problem. To be clear, this isn’t the “oops I’ve drank too much and ordered a handbag” concern that one in three people suffer from at night. I may be sleepy, at most, but I’m definitely stone-cold sober when…

Sunburns are my ongoing skin disaster

Why I Need Sunscreen School

This past weekend was my first brush with the summer sun. My indoor-stabilized form, otherwise shrouded in layers of clothing to offset the fierce air conditioning blowing through every indoor space in Texas, was exposed to daylight for the first time in months. Immediately apparent: Why I need sunscreen school. The victim this time? My…

Father's Day cards seem to be written by a six-year-old girl

Why do Father’s Day Cards Suck?

As I’ve gotten older, selecting the appropriate Father’s Day card has become a physical experience. My stomach clenches with dismissive discomfort at each grossly inaccurate sentiment. “No. No. Oh, hell no!” I quickly reject nearly every card. They all seem to be written from the perspective of a sweetly naïve six-year-old girl. Happy Father’s Day…

Texting Ban to Deportation from Texas

With all the hubbub in Texas over bathroom bills and whatnot, one bill that quietly swooped into place is a statewide ban on texting and driving. It goes into effect on September 1. It’s not hard to see us go from texting ban to deportation from Texas for some unlucky undocumented immigrants.  Gov. Greg Abbott…

Texas Legislature Takes on Craft Beer

Texas has cultivated a love affair with craft beer, but that doesn’t extend to the Texas Legislature, which recently passed a bill that beer advocates are calling grossly anti-competitive. House Bill 3287, aka the “taproom bill,” says that if a brewer with a taproom produces more than 175,000 barrels of beer on-site, they must 1)…

The best customer service is at marijuana dispensaries

Customer Service Needs to Visit Pot Dispensaries

On what feels like it should be a Monday, the first email of the morning sets the day off to a bad start. DirecTV is thanking me for the pay-per-view movie I allegedly just rented. Please. If only I could be that person, up early enough to watch a movie before work, I’d probably also…

About Me
Rani Monson is an opinion writer and columnist

Writer Rani Monson is still figuring out what she wants to be when she grows up. In the meantime, she writes humor pieces.


I’m at the core of the new Apple iPhone X

Apparently, my only redeeming quality in life right now is…

Surfing Down the Retail Abyss of Amazon

I’m not sure if I’ve hit a new high or…

Take a Native Texan to the State Fair

I’ve lived in Texas long enough that I’ve been to…


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Camping for the first time at 43

I did it. Finally. I went camping for the first time at 43. It was car camping, but close enough. After avoiding it throughout life, I can call it done. I’ve had…

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