Apparently, my only redeeming quality in life right now is possessing the new Apple iPhone X. Charming. In the 36 hours it’s been in my possession, all conversations have diverted to the phone. Even out of sight, it’s grabbing all the attention. “OMG you have the X,” one guy gushed at me in Deep Ellum…
Dating
Take a Native Texan to the State Fair
I’ve lived in Texas long enough that I’ve been to the State Fair of Texas more than once. I’ve gone with my parents and a night with friends and co-workers. I’ve gone before a Dallas Summer Musicals show. I even went on what I thought was a date, only to later find out it wasn’t.…
Camping for the first time at 43
I did it. Finally. I went camping for the first time at 43. It was car camping, but close enough. After avoiding it throughout life, I can call it done. I’ve had a brief delusion thinking my “outdoor girl” persona could survive. A short-lived stint in Idaho. Running outside in the winter in Chicago. But…
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
After a long holiday weekend, I hit the snooze button for 37 minutes, the amount of time I had allocated for the morning workout I detest. I overslept and skipped the gym, hardly the way I want to start a new week. That’s because no good deed goes unpunished. I’m already down, having dashed my…
Family Photo Perfect Display of Dysfunction
My parents recently celebrated a wedding anniversary. A big one. To the point I needed to visit a specialty card store, the kind that makes me feel instantly bad about myself when I walk in. For not sending enough cards. Or color coordinated enough. Or just not being … enough. Pickings for celebrating 50 years…
Are Shoes Function or Fashion?
Recently, I read an article suggesting a woman should build her outfit by starting with her shoes, claiming it’s a way to fully utilize fabulous footwear. I scoffed. Getting dressed is hard enough, figuring out what clothes fit that day and where I left my pants lying around the house. For me, shoes are the…
Why I Need Sunscreen School
This past weekend was my first brush with the summer sun. My indoor-stabilized form, otherwise shrouded in layers of clothing to offset the fierce air conditioning blowing through every indoor space in Texas, was exposed to daylight for the first time in months. Immediately apparent: Why I need sunscreen school. The victim this time? My…
Why I Won’t Ask Alexa for Anything
Boyfriend and I have a problem. It’s another woman. Her name is Alexa. He’s in love. I think she’s a bitch. It’s why I won’t ask Alexa for anything. Not only is she trying to take my man, she’s winning. He keeps buying more and more — Echo Dots are everywhere — because he’s under the…
Becoming Sensitive to Insensitivity
Is it just me, or did everyone jump on a rocket ship to narcissism-land? Last week I saw a woman walking through the middle of the parking lot. Her roll was extra slow, oblivious to the world around her. Cars impatiently lined up, all waiting to park. She was busy texting. As I walked past…
Losing My Free Cable
I’ve been committing what is akin to cinema fraud. Where you go to the movies, pay for one movie and stay for a second. Rarely a third. Never a fourth. I’ll blame that on a bad boyfriend. My home-version of said fraud is cable. DIRECTTV. It’s not “stolen,” in that the service is being paid…