My parents want their cable box back

Losing My Free Cable

I’ve been committing what is akin to cinema fraud. Where you go to the movies, pay for one movie and stay for a second. Rarely a third. Never a fourth. I’ll blame that on a bad boyfriend. My home-version of said fraud is cable. DIRECTTV. It’s not “stolen,” in that the service is being paid…

Even my dad realizes it's getting to be a bit much under Trump

First Signs of Hope Under Trump

Like all good Jewish girls, I took my father to Cindy’s Deli for his birthday lunch last week. Our conversations have been a bit strained since Christmas Eve. Scene: Chinese Restaurant. Mom and brother stepped away to say hello to someone. Yup. Very Jew-ish. My chance to talk to dad without everyone else jumping in.…

Flying home and feeling guilty

Flying Home During the Immigration Ban and Feeling Guilty

As I entered the Denver airport to catch my flight back to Dallas Sunday, it didn’t matter that I was late. I moved in slow motion, studying the faces and signs protesting the immigration ban ordered by President Donald Trump. I’m flying home during the immigration ban and feeling guilty. I get to go home,…

Who knew you have to be rich and skinny to ski

Skiing for the First Time at 42

Like a foreign language, I fear learning to snow ski is best when one is young — much younger than I, who at 42, will be conquering the ski mountain for the first time this week. At least that’s the current plan. Skiing for the first time at 42. My family never did the cold-weather…

Have to avoid the ER on New Year's Eve

Avoid the ER on New Year’s Eve if You Want to Celebrate

I didn’t set out to hit the ER on New Year’s Eve. But a year-end visit to the chiropractor included a neck adjustment that sent me to the emergency room. It’s hardly a way to celebrate. I tend to not have the best of luck with medical things. I caught poison ivy in downtown Washington…

I got a boyfriend and gained a bunch of weight

The Boyfriend Effect — 17.2 Pounds

One thing loudly Ho, Ho, Hoing this holiday season — aside from Russia, which is having a daily Christmas affair with our politics — is my weight. My clothes are on a permanent vacation from lack of use because they don’t fit. And I’m not talking about the “oh, I’m feeling bloated” saga. Even my…

Apparently laptops don't like coffee

Don’t Feed Your Laptop Coffee

My holiday season didn’t start off with a bang. It was more a sizzle. In addition to overstuffing my already-full self, I also fed my computer. Coffee. Don’t do it. Don’t feed your laptop coffee. I spend most of my waking life in the digital saddle. It’s how I make a living. I have no…

Halloween costumes aren't for me

Why I Don’t Dress Up for Halloween

By far one of the most underrated parties in Dallas is the annual Oak Lawn Halloween Block Party on Cedar Springs Road. Typically held the Saturday before Halloween, it’s something that makes me proud of Dallas. A festivity bringing together the most diverse crowd I’ve experienced in Texas, spanning age, ethnicity and sexual orientation. There’s…

About Me
Rani Monson is an opinion writer and columnist

Writer Rani Monson is still figuring out what she wants to be when she grows up. In the meantime, she writes humor pieces.


I’m at the core of the new Apple iPhone X

Apparently, my only redeeming quality in life right now is…

Surfing Down the Retail Abyss of Amazon

I’m not sure if I’ve hit a new high or…

Take a Native Texan to the State Fair

I’ve lived in Texas long enough that I’ve been to…


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Camping for the first time at 43

I did it. Finally. I went camping for the first time at 43. It was car camping, but close enough. After avoiding it throughout life, I can call it done. I’ve had…

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