Tag: boyfriend

Camping for the first time at 43

I did it. Finally. I went camping for the first time at 43. It was car camping, but close enough. After avoiding it throughout life, I can call it done. I’ve had a brief delusion thinking my “outdoor girl” persona could survive. A short-lived stint in Idaho. Running outside in the winter in Chicago. But…

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

After a long holiday weekend, I hit the snooze button for 37 minutes, the amount of time I had allocated for the morning workout I detest. I overslept and skipped the gym, hardly the way I want to start a new week. That’s because no good deed goes unpunished. I’m already down, having dashed my…

Sunburns are my ongoing skin disaster

Why I Need Sunscreen School

This past weekend was my first brush with the summer sun. My indoor-stabilized form, otherwise shrouded in layers of clothing to offset the fierce air conditioning blowing through every indoor space in Texas, was exposed to daylight for the first time in months. Immediately apparent: Why I need sunscreen school. The victim this time? My…

Alexa is trying to steal my boyfriend

Why I Won’t Ask Alexa for Anything

Boyfriend and I have a problem. It’s another woman. Her name is Alexa. He’s in love. I think she’s a bitch. It’s why I won’t ask Alexa for anything. Not only is she trying to take my man, she’s winning. He keeps buying more and more — Echo Dots are everywhere — because he’s under the…

Me, me, me

Becoming Sensitive to Insensitivity

Is it just me, or did everyone jump on a rocket ship to narcissism-land? Last week I saw a woman walking through the middle of the parking lot. Her roll was extra slow, oblivious to the world around her. Cars impatiently lined up, all waiting to park. She was busy texting. As I walked past…

My parents want their cable box back

Losing My Free Cable

I’ve been committing what is akin to cinema fraud. Where you go to the movies, pay for one movie and stay for a second. Rarely a third. Never a fourth. I’ll blame that on a bad boyfriend. My home-version of said fraud is cable. DIRECTTV. It’s not “stolen,” in that the service is being paid…

Who knew you have to be rich and skinny to ski

Skiing for the First Time at 42

Like a foreign language, I fear learning to snow ski is best when one is young — much younger than I, who at 42, will be conquering the ski mountain for the first time this week. At least that’s the current plan. Skiing for the first time at 42. My family never did the cold-weather…

I got a boyfriend and gained a bunch of weight

The Boyfriend Effect — 17.2 Pounds

One thing loudly Ho, Ho, Hoing this holiday season — aside from Russia, which is having a daily Christmas affair with our politics — is my weight. My clothes are on a permanent vacation from lack of use because they don’t fit. And I’m not talking about the “oh, I’m feeling bloated” saga. Even my…