Get out your party pants — it’s time to celebrate what is the most forgotten holiday the past four years: President’s Day! “We’re a B-List holiday stuck in holiday purgatory,” the holiday’s publicist said. “Over the past four years President’s Day, like Democracy, has been slipping, both on a march to dinosaur extinction. We came perilously close.”…
Humor
Presents to Piss Off Your Valentine Presented by the Letter “P”
Pony: “How old do you think I am?” Puppy: “I already take care of you and the kids. Obviously I need more responsibility.” Pro Pods from Apple. “Sure, they’d be great for noise-cancelling the kids — if they stayed in your ears.” Pan: “I already do all the cooking.” Potted Plant. “It may last longer than fresh cut flowers, but…
How to Buy an Appliance During COVID
Part 1: A Step-by-Step Guide Buy an Appliance During COVID. At Christmas. Ignore strange noises refrigerator makes. Beer warm; resolve to drink faster. Hope cat drinks puddle of liquid gathering at base of fridge. Frozen fruit soft and mushy. Fine for smoothies. Refrigerator and freezer dead. No. pulse. Panic. Divide and conquer. He: Has to get…