Surfing Down the Retail Abyss of Amazon

I’m not sure if I’ve hit a new high or reached a new low in life. Today, I received an online order in the mail that has me thinking about my relationship with Amazon. It’s making me see myself in a new, not positive light, but I’m struggling to acknowledge the full truth. I’m now…

Function or fashion? Hard call on shoes

Are Shoes Function or Fashion?

Recently, I read an article suggesting a woman should build her outfit by starting with her shoes, claiming it’s a way to fully utilize fabulous footwear. I scoffed. Getting dressed is hard enough, figuring out what clothes fit that day and where I left my pants lying around the house. For me, shoes are the…

Am I addicted to shopping?

I Have an Online Shopping Problem

I think I may have a problem. Of the shopping variety. Specifically, I have an online shopping problem. To be clear, this isn’t the “oops I’ve drank too much and ordered a handbag” concern that one in three people suffer from at night. I may be sleepy, at most, but I’m definitely stone-cold sober when…

Father's Day cards seem to be written by a six-year-old girl

Why do Father’s Day Cards Suck?

As I’ve gotten older, selecting the appropriate Father’s Day card has become a physical experience. My stomach clenches with dismissive discomfort at each grossly inaccurate sentiment. “No. No. Oh, hell no!” I quickly reject nearly every card. They all seem to be written from the perspective of a sweetly naïve six-year-old girl. Happy Father’s Day…

The best customer service is at marijuana dispensaries

Customer Service Needs to Visit Pot Dispensaries

On what feels like it should be a Monday, the first email of the morning sets the day off to a bad start. DirecTV is thanking me for the pay-per-view movie I allegedly just rented. Please. If only I could be that person, up early enough to watch a movie before work, I’d probably also…

Even my dad realizes it's getting to be a bit much under Trump

First Signs of Hope Under Trump

Like all good Jewish girls, I took my father to Cindy’s Deli for his birthday lunch last week. Our conversations have been a bit strained since Christmas Eve. Scene: Chinese Restaurant. Mom and brother stepped away to say hello to someone. Yup. Very Jew-ish. My chance to talk to dad without everyone else jumping in.…

Who knew you have to be rich and skinny to ski

Skiing for the First Time at 42

Like a foreign language, I fear learning to snow ski is best when one is young — much younger than I, who at 42, will be conquering the ski mountain for the first time this week. At least that’s the current plan. Skiing for the first time at 42. My family never did the cold-weather…

I got a boyfriend and gained a bunch of weight

The Boyfriend Effect — 17.2 Pounds

One thing loudly Ho, Ho, Hoing this holiday season — aside from Russia, which is having a daily Christmas affair with our politics — is my weight. My clothes are on a permanent vacation from lack of use because they don’t fit. And I’m not talking about the “oh, I’m feeling bloated” saga. Even my…

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