Art by Bob Eckstein
Pony: “How old do you think I am?”
Puppy: “I already take care of you and the kids. Obviously I need more responsibility.”
Pro Pods from Apple. “Sure, they’d be great for noise-cancelling the kids — if they stayed in your ears.”
Pan: “I already do all the cooking.”
Potted Plant. “It may last longer than fresh cut flowers, but I’m still going to kill it.”
Pot. “I don’t need you if I want to wake-and-bake.”
Plunger: “For the person who has everything, huh? That includes a plumber on speed-dial.”
Porsche: “You put this in my name for me to make the payments?”
Polka-dot pjs: “Even skinny people look fat in polka-dots. Period.”
Peloton: “Obviously you’re telling me to lose weight. I remember that Stepford Wives ad.”
Perfume: “Ew. This is the scent your mother wears!”
Pearl. “Keep Kamala out of this!”
Push-up bra: See also, Pony.