Rani Monson

Rani Monson lives in Texas. She's busy trying to: win over her partner's cat, practice yoga in the driveway and figure out humor writing. She's a former newspaper reporter and award-winning journalist with an MBA in marketing and a B.S. in Journalism from Northwestern University.

Time to Take Back President’s Day

Time to Take Back President’s Day: Memo from the Holiday’s Publicist

Get out your party pants — it’s time to celebrate what is the most forgotten holiday the past four years: President’s Day! “We’re a B-List holiday stuck in holiday purgatory,” the holiday’s publicist said. “Over the past four years President’s Day, like Democracy, has been slipping, both on a march to dinosaur extinction. We came perilously close.”…

Presents to Piss Off Your Valentine Presented by the Letter “P”

Pony: “How old do you think I am?” Puppy: “I already take care of you and the kids. Obviously I need more responsibility.” Pro Pods from Apple. “Sure, they’d be great for noise-cancelling the kids — if they stayed in your ears.” Pan: “I already do all the cooking.” Potted Plant. “It may last longer than fresh cut flowers, but…

How to Buy an Appliance During COVID

How to Buy an Appliance During COVID

Part 1: A Step-by-Step Guide Buy an Appliance During COVID. At Christmas. Ignore strange noises refrigerator makes. Beer warm; resolve to drink faster. Hope cat drinks puddle of liquid gathering at base of fridge. Frozen fruit soft and mushy. Fine for smoothies. Refrigerator and freezer dead. No. pulse. Panic. Divide and conquer. He: Has to get…

Bike Share Companies Flood the Streets

A rush of rental bikes and the ensuing backlash against ‘urban litter’ have again raised the question of whether this city can handle two-wheeled lifestyle choices. They’re everywhere. And bright. They’re maybe not the color you’d pick for your own, but that’s the whole point of these bike-share rentals in Dallas. They stick out on…

I’m at the core of the new Apple iPhone X

Apparently, my only redeeming quality in life right now is possessing the new Apple iPhone X. Charming. In the 36 hours it’s been in my possession, all conversations have diverted to the phone. Even out of sight, it’s grabbing all the attention. “OMG you have the X,” one guy gushed at me in Deep Ellum…

Surfing Down the Retail Abyss of Amazon

I’m not sure if I’ve hit a new high or reached a new low in life. Today, I received an online order in the mail that has me thinking about my relationship with Amazon. It’s making me see myself in a new, not positive light, but I’m struggling to acknowledge the full truth. I’m now…

Take a Native Texan to the State Fair

I’ve lived in Texas long enough that I’ve been to the State Fair of Texas more than once. I’ve gone with my parents and a night with friends and co-workers. I’ve gone before a Dallas Summer Musicals show. I even went on what I thought was a date, only to later find out it wasn’t.…

Unexpected Acts of Kindness

Among the horror we’ve witnessed over the last several weeks, it’s been amazing to see tiny glimmers of awesomeness during hurricanes in Houston, Florida and Puerto Rico. In Las Vegas, where strangers put their lives at risk to help others as a gunman rained down bullets on country music fans. These senseless acts of violence…

Camping for the first time at 43

I did it. Finally. I went camping for the first time at 43. It was car camping, but close enough. After avoiding it throughout life, I can call it done. I’ve had a brief delusion thinking my “outdoor girl” persona could survive. A short-lived stint in Idaho. Running outside in the winter in Chicago. But…

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

After a long holiday weekend, I hit the snooze button for 37 minutes, the amount of time I had allocated for the morning workout I detest. I overslept and skipped the gym, hardly the way I want to start a new week. That’s because no good deed goes unpunished. I’m already down, having dashed my…