Recently, I read an article suggesting a woman should build her outfit by starting with her shoes, claiming it’s a way to fully utilize fabulous footwear. I scoffed. Getting dressed is hard enough, figuring out what clothes fit that day and where I left my pants lying around the house. For me, shoes are the…
Pop Culture
Customer Service Needs to Visit Pot Dispensaries
On what feels like it should be a Monday, the first email of the morning sets the day off to a bad start. DirecTV is thanking me for the pay-per-view movie I allegedly just rented. Please. If only I could be that person, up early enough to watch a movie before work, I’d probably also…
How I Became a Band Groupie
Even though my trip to Portland has been planned for a number of months, I’ve been uncharacteristically demure about the purpose. When asked, I was embarrassed to tell the truth. I was a band groupie. Then I outed myself on Facebook, sharing a photo of myself meeting the band. “This is kinda becoming a groupie…
Why You Need to Vote
It feels like things are really getting bad in Texas. That we’re living in a dystopian HBO drama where there is only one flavor of opinion — vanilla. Tolerance is nonexistent, sprinkles aren’t allowed. Don’t even think about chocolate. It’s embarrassing enough that a federal judge has ruled, yet again, that our voter ID law…
Why I Hate Doing My Taxes
Doing my taxes puts me in a really bad mood. It feels like a black-and-white awareness that I suck. True financial recognition that I’m not making the amount of money I thought I would. Or could. Or should. I hate doing my taxes. While finishing is the goal, it means I have to turn around…
Losing My Free Cable
I’ve been committing what is akin to cinema fraud. Where you go to the movies, pay for one movie and stay for a second. Rarely a third. Never a fourth. I’ll blame that on a bad boyfriend. My home-version of said fraud is cable. DIRECTTV. It’s not “stolen,” in that the service is being paid…
Avoid the ER on New Year’s Eve if You Want to Celebrate
I didn’t set out to hit the ER on New Year’s Eve. But a year-end visit to the chiropractor included a neck adjustment that sent me to the emergency room. It’s hardly a way to celebrate. I tend to not have the best of luck with medical things. I caught poison ivy in downtown Washington…
The Boyfriend Effect — 17.2 Pounds
One thing loudly Ho, Ho, Hoing this holiday season — aside from Russia, which is having a daily Christmas affair with our politics — is my weight. My clothes are on a permanent vacation from lack of use because they don’t fit. And I’m not talking about the “oh, I’m feeling bloated” saga. Even my…
Why I Don’t Wear Makeup to the Gym
Grammy winner Alicia Keys didn’t wear makeup to the MTV Video Music Awards last month. The Twittersphere nearly imploded. World comes to an end. #Bam. The cause of the chaos? Cosmetics. Or lack thereof. #NoMakeup. How dare a celebrity show up on the red carpet with a naked face, lacking the typical two hours of…